What to wear to a wedding…while it all sounds so simple, deciding
what to wear, perplexes many. What should I wear to an afternoon
wedding? Should I dress differently for an evening wedding? If I’m the
stepmother of the bride, do I buy a formal gown? Can I wear ivory? What
about the stepfather? Should he wear a tux? These are just a few of the
many questions that come up and with good reason.
Years ago, wedding etiquette was a bit different with much stricter
guidelines. Weddings were formal or semi-formal. Destination weddings
were unheard of and etiquette used to dictate that for a second wedding
you wouldn’t wear white. Guests were never to wear red and the only
one who could wear white was the bride. These days, many weddings have
become more informal and consequently wedding etiquette has changed as
well! While a black tie affair still means men should wear a tuxedo (you
can rent or buy one), dress codes for weddings are a bit more casual and
many restrictions and taboos on what color to wear are gone.
Whether you’re the guest, the groom, the stepmother or great
step-Uncle; whether you’re marrying in a boat or barefoot on a remote
island off the coast of Costa Rica, our question and answer forum below
is designed to help take the guesswork out of what to wear to a wedding.
Check out the advice from our expert wedding etiquette columnist from
AtlanticCityWeddings.com.
To jump to a specific category – use the handy links below. Finally,
at the end of this article, you’ll find links to other websites for
additional information on what to wear.
Bride’s Attire
Is it appropriate to wear a veil in the Catholic Church?
Is it appropriate to wear a veil in the Catholic Church when getting
married?
There is no set rule on wearing a veil. Generally
speaking, the veil is optional
whether you're planning a
formal or informal wedding. So my suggestion would
be to follow your own preference.
You may also want to
check with the priest of your church to see if there
are any religious requirements concerning the veil.
Question ~ Can you wear white if you have children?
My fiancé is divorced..I had two kids out of
wedlock 4 years ago. from my ex.
We just got engaged. My grandma is saying I cannot wear white because I
had kids and cannot get married in church because he was married. She
says we have to go to a justice of the peace. Is this so? Should I be
punished for my mistake?
Answer: The short and sweet
answer is you can wear whatever color dress would make you happiest. So
even if your family thinks it's taboo or untraditional, you could wear
white if you'd like. Soft pastel colors or off-white are preferable to
pure white for second marriages, white is acceptable when worn with
colored accessories. For both second marriages and brides with children
out of wedlock, it is recommended that the bride not wear a veil. As for
the issue of getting married in a church, that's something you'll need
to discuss with your clergy person. Your church may have specific
guidelines about performing ceremonies for second marriages. I trust
this information answered your questions. If you need additional
information, feel free to email me again at your convenience. Best
wishes to you!
Semi-Formal Wedding Attire
Question - Proper Attire for a Semi-Formal Wedding
Is it o.k. for the bride (Mexican American) to wear a semi-formal
wedding dress & tiara and the groom (African American) to wear a
shirt (Mexican shirt) and pants to their wedding. I am just concerned
that he is too under dressed and disrespecting his culture.
Generally, for a semi-formal
wedding, the groom will wear a dark suit or a tuxedo. If it's customary
in the groom's culture to wear other attire, that would be acceptable as
well. What you might want to suggest is that your fiancé wear a dark
suit or tuxedo and accompanied by accessories from his cultural
background to incorporate the two, mirroring the semi-formal nature of
your attire while respecting his cultural traditions too.
Afternoon Wedding Attire
What is the proper attire for a "fairly formal" afternoon
wedding?
I live in southwest Florida and am attending a fairly formal afternoon
wedding in mid-October. Reception at a lavish golf club resort. What is
proper attire?
Based on your description of the wedding as "fairly
formal," I would probably err on the side of dressing more
formally. For a formal daytime wedding or semiformal evening wedding,
appropriate attire for women guests includes street-length cocktail or
afternoon dresses; for a formal evening wedding, it would be appropriate
to wear a long or short dress.
My opinion is that a cocktail dress is appropriate for almost any type
of wedding. The wedding invitation itself should give you some
indication as to the degree of formality of the event. If the wedding is
black tie or black tie optional, then you may want to consider wearing a
long gown.
Question - Is an evening suit appropriate for an afternoon wedding?
My niece is getting married in the afternoon (2:00 p.m.). It will be
a formal wedding. I need to know if it's o.k. to wear a dark blue silk
evening suit and suede shoes?
The etiquette guidelines recommend women guests should wear a street
length cocktail dress for a formal daytime wedding and either a long or
short dress for a formal evening wedding. If the ceremony is in the
afternoon and the reception in the evening, it's acceptable to wear a
long dress to both the ceremony and the reception. I think the ensemble
you've selected sounds lovely. Enjoy the festivities!
Question: What is the proper attire for an afternoon wedding?
I have two questions. We are getting married on a boat while it is
docked and then will cruise for the reception. The wedding is from
2:30-3:00 and cruise is 3-5. What is proper attire for that time frame?
You didn't indicate
in your question if you were inquiring about the
attire for you and your groom or the guests, so I'll
try to cover all bases for you. For
a formal or semiformal daytime wedding, you should
wear a long gown but for an informal daytime wedding
you could wear a short dress, cocktail dress or
suit. The groom should wear a tuxedo or a dark suit,
depending on what you'll be wearing. The mothers
of the bride and groom can wear either a long or
short dress for a formal or semiformal daytime wedding
or a cocktail dress for an informal daytime wedding.
Women guests may wear street-length cocktail dresses
and men guests should wear dark suits.
Evening Wedding Attire
What is proper attire for an evening wedding?
My niece is being married
Jan.5 in Jacksonville, FL at 5:30 PM. The wedding is formal--maybe white
tie. The reception is being held at the Sheraton Hotel. What is proper
attire for a woman? Can you wear a sequins suit? Isn't this considered a
daytime wedding since it is before six?
Even though the wedding is scheduled for 5:30p.m. it would still be
considered an evening wedding. For a formal evening wedding, women
guests should wear long or short dresses (whichever you are more
comfortable in); for a semiformal evening wedding, women guests should
wear cocktail dresses. On the other hand, when attending a formal
daytime wedding, women guests should wear street-length cocktail or
afternoon dresses. My personal opinion is that a cocktail dress is the
best option for a semi-formal or formal wedding, whether afternoon or
evening, as most women find cocktail dresses more comfortable than
full-length evening gowns and less cumbersome for dancing.
But if you're in the mood to be glamorous, go ahead and wear an elegant
evening gown. If you haven't received the wedding invitation yet, wait
until you do to see if the invitation specifies black tie or gives any
other indication of the formality of the ceremony and reception.
Question - Appropriate attire for 5pm wedding
My husband and I have been invited to a 5 p.m. wedding on 3-27. It
will be followed by a dinner and dancing. What is appropriate attire?
Must I wear a long dress? Does my husband have to wear a tuxedo?
If this evening wedding will be semiformal or informal, it would be
fine for you to wear a cocktail dress and your husband to wear a dark
suit. If it's to be a formal affair, etiquette guidelines give you the
option of wearing a long or short dress. If it is formal and the women
guests will be wearing long dresses, the men should wear tuxedos;
however if the women will be wearing short/cocktail dresses, the men
would wear dark suits.
You may want to check with the bride or someone in her family to
determine whether this will be a formal or informal event so that you
can make your dress selection.
Question - Appropriate Attire for 6pm wedding
What is the correct dress for guests at a large 6:00p.m. wedding
in a small Southern town?
The etiquette guidelines recommend women guests should wear a
cocktail dress for a semi-formal or informal evening wedding and can
choose to wear either a long dress or a cocktail dress for a formal
evening wedding. Male guests should wear a dark suit for an evening
wedding and should wear a tuxedo to a formal evening wedding if the
female guests will be in long gowns. Keep in mind these are guidelines
only and not set in stone.
Mother of the Bride/Groom Attire
Mother of the Bride's Attire
is it proper to for the mother of the bride to wear an ivory colored
dress?
Long ago, it was considered inappropriate for anyone to wear white or
ivory to a wedding except for the bride herself. These days, that's no
longer true. My opinion is it's entirely appropriate for you to wear an
ivory dress to your daughter's wedding, especially if this color suits
your complexion. I'm sure your daughter would enjoy helping you in
selecting your dress style and color so enjoy shopping together!
Mother of the Bride Attire
The bride's mother still hasn't decided on what to wear to our
children's wedding (second marriage). The wedding is in three weeks. I
have purchased a black, very classic, silk dress. Will this be
appropriate?
I think a classically styled dress is always appropriate. While
traditionally neither the mother of the bride nor the groom wears black
to the wedding (even if one of them is in mourning), color selections
are more flexible these days. It also used to be taboo for a wedding
guest to wear white, but many women guests do that today. In short, you
should wear whatever color you believe flatters your
complexion/appearance. Enjoy the wedding!
Is it improper for the mother of the groom to wear an ivory colored
dress?
Is it an affront or improper for the mother of the groom to wear an
ivory colored dress? Is it the bride’s choice even after she has said
you would look fine in anything you select? This is a formal wedding and
the bride is wearing a white dress. The ivory (of my dress) has a good
deal of color so it is perhaps a 15-20% off white.
Generally, this decision is one for the mother of the bride. While
she may discuss her possible choices with her daughter, it is up to the
mother of the bride to select the style and formality of her dress. As a
courtesy, the mother of the bride should discuss her possible selections
with the mother of the groom before finalizing her decision, but it is
not obligatory. Once the mother of the bride makes her decision, she
should let the mother of the groom know, who should then choose a dress
in a similar style or length. The receiving line, if you plan on having
one, looks much nicer if both of the mothers' dresses are of similar
length and in complementary colors.
Most mothers tend to choose solid, pastel tones, but this depends on
the mothers' taste as well as which colors suit their complexion. So
traditionally it is not the bride's choice, but the mother of the
bride's. If the mother of the bride has chosen a soft pastel colored
dress, perhaps even ivory, it would be appropriate for the mother of the
groom to wear a shade of ivory/off-white as well. If the mother of the
bride has selected a more bold color, perhaps your wife could consider
another, brighter color that would be suitable for her complexion too.
I hope this answers your question and resolves any family squabbles.
Stepmother Attire
Stepmother Attire Question
My stepdaughter is marrying
at 7:00 p.m. with 4 bridal attendants. Is it proper for me to wear a
long dress? I do not know what the mother of the bride is wearing.
If your stepdaughter's evening wedding is to be a formal or
semi-formal affair, then it would be appropriate for you to wear a long
gown. If it's an informal evening wedding, then your dress should be the
same length as the bride's.
However, I would strongly recommend that you discuss dress styles in
general with the bride's mother before buying your dress. I think it's
appropriate for you to defer to the mother of the bride, who in turn
should select her attire based on the tone of the event as set by the
bride. So if it's a formal affair and the mother of the bride chooses a
long gown, you could follow suit. I think it would be awkward if your
dress was more formal than the mother of the bride's.
Keep in mind these are just guidelines. Your selection should reflect
not only the tone of the event, but your taste and style as well! Hope
you find this information to be helpful.
Question: Stepmother's Attire
I am a stepmother. The groom’s
mother will be at the wedding. The mother of the bride and the groom’s
mother have advised they are wearing mid-length dresses. My husband will
be in a tux. Would it be all right if I wore a white suit? It is a late
afternoon wedding in August. I
think wearing
a suit would be appropriate.
You didn't give me
any information about the formality of the wedding,
but I'm guessing it's not a formal
affair since neither
of the mothers is wearing a long dress/gown.
Whether it's a formal or informal daytime wedding,
either long or short dresses are
considered appropriate
attire for the mothers and stepmothers of the
bride and groom.
Long ago it was considered taboo for a wedding guest
to wear white at a wedding. But
these days, that doesn't
seem to be a concern anymore. So I think white,
or any color you choose, would be fine. Enjoy
the festivities!
Stepfather Wedding Attire
Question: Attire for the grooms' stepfather?
What is the proper attire for the groom's stepfather? The stepfather
is not paying for any portion of the wedding and is not in the wedding.
Generally, the groom's stepfather wears attire similar to that of the
groom and the groom's attendants, especially if you'll be standing in
the receiving line. If you won't be in the receiving line, and you'd
rather not dress formally, you can wear the same attire as the other
male guests will be wearing. So it would depend on how formal or
informal the wedding and reception will be. A dark suit is appropriate
men’s' attire for any type of wedding, but a tuxedo is appropriate at
a formal evening wedding if the women guests will be wearing long
dresses. Your attire is not related to whether you're paying any part of
the wedding expenses.
Grandparent’s Wedding Attire
Grandparent's Attire
Can grandparent's of the bride wear a dressy pant suit or is it more
proper to wear a long dress that blends in with the colors of the
Bridesmaids?
The best answer I can give you is to take your cue for selecting your
attire from the formality of your grandchild's wedding. If it's an
informal wedding, it would be appropriate to wear a cocktail dress or
dressy suit. If it's a more formal wedding, even if it's a daytime
ceremony, you could wear either a long dress, a cocktail dress or formal
suit. You may want to wear the same length dress as the mother of the
bride and mother of the groom. As for the color, it needn't blend with
the bridesmaids' dresses. You may want to discuss your color selection
with your grandchild. I'm sure he/she would enjoy being part of this
process.
Boat Wedding Attire
What is the proper attire for a boat wedding?
My daughter and her fiancé wish to marry on a schooner (captain to
perform wedding) at sunset off Key West, FL. I would like us to dress as
formally as possible. What is usual form of dress?
The most formal attire the mother of the bride can wear is a long
evening gown/dinner dress or a cocktail dress. This applies to both
formal daytime and evening weddings. Since the ceremony is on a boat,
you may want to opt for the cocktail dress, but that's just my personal
preference. The decision is up to you. Whatever you decide, enjoy
selecting your dress!
Resort/Destination Wedding Attire
Resort Wedding Attire
We will be going to a resort. The suggested apparel for a special
dinner is evening resort attire. What does this mean? Would a little
black dress be appropriate or do you have suggestions?
Sounds like your destination wedding will be lovely. As for the
appropriate attire, a little black dress would be great. My opinion is
that "evening resort attire" would include a cocktail dress, a
dressy suit or 2-piece ensemble. Resort attire is usually less formal,
so I don't think a long dress or gown would be appropriate. The choice
is yours, depending on what you feel most comfortable with.
Color of Attire for Guests
Question - Is it inappropriate to wear white to a wedding?
Am I old fashion or is it still inappropriate for anyone other than the
bride to wear white to a wedding? You're
right that traditionally, only the bride wore white for the wedding. But
today, almost anything goes. I've been to daytime and evening weddings
wear some of the women guests have worn white dresses. So it no longer
seems to be taboo. I am a traditionalist and believe that women guests
can wear off-white/beige/ivory, but I think the bride should be the only
woman wearing white. Ultimately, you should wear whatever color you feel
is flattering to your complexion.
Question: Guest's Attire – Can you wear black to a wedding?
Can you tell me is it proper to wear a black dress to an afternoon
wedding?
I think it would be
fine for you to wear black to an afternoon wedding.
Black is often thought of as the
most chic color to wear
to any special occasion. So you should wear whatever
color you feel comfortable in.
Invitations that Specify Type of Attire
Question: Appropriate Attire
This is a strange one - I work in a retirement community and two
residents are getting married. They want to invite everyone in the
retirement to the wedding via a posting in our newsletter. How do we say
"jackets required" without sounding rude? If we don't put
something in the newsletter for a dress code, some will show up in
shorts! Serious!
The only time I'm aware of that it's appropriate to indicate the
proper attire for a wedding reception is if it will be black tie. To
answer your question, I would suggest 2 options: 1) casually spread the
word among the community's residents that the attire will be
semi-formal, dressy casual, for example; or 2) format the invitation in
your newsletter more casually than a traditional wedding invitation
using a format like an invitation to a cocktail party, holiday party,
etc. For example, Please join us for.......Date: Time: ,etc. and at the
end you could include wording indicating it's a semiformal, formal,
dressy casual party, etc. But I still think spreading the word by word
of mouth would be best.
Question - Appropriate Attire when the invitation specifies
"Cocktail Dress."
My boyfriend has invited me to an awards dinner (for his business) and
I'm confused by the required dress attire. It says, "Tuxedo or Suit
and Tie" for men, but only says "Cocktail Dress" for
women. My boyfriend will be wearing a tuxedo and I would like to wear my
long black formal dress...however, it specifically says "cocktail
dress." Does this mean a long dress would be inappropriate? Thank
you so much for your help! Thanks
for your emailed question. Although it would be appropriate for you to
wear a long dress if the invitation indicates the men’s' attire is to
be a tuxedo or suit and tie, you may feel a bit awkward if you're the
only woman attending the dinner in a long dress, especially when the
invitation indicates the women’s' attire is to be a cocktail dress. I
think it's always best to follow the attire guidelines noted on the
invitation, if any.
My suggestion would be to try to find out what some of the other
women will be wearing to the dinner. If it seems that most women will be
wearing cocktail dresses, I would recommend you do the same. Consider it
an excuse to go shopping to buy a fancy cocktail dress, if you don't
have one in your closet.
Fun Links
Wedding
Attire Quiz
http://www.expertrating.com/quizzes/Wedding-Attire-Quiz.asp
What to Wear
to a Wedding (including Fashion Video)
http://weddings.about.com/cs/weddingguests/a/guestattire.htm
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